It's only three in the morning, so technically, it's not really exactly my birthday, but that matters not, am I right?
I don't know what to say about today; it was boring. I played Zoo Tycoon with my brother, practiced piano, hung out on the internet and looked around in my parents' closet, but found nothing of interest.
So far, for my birthday, I've gotten Krist Novoselic and some surprise that nobody will tell me the answer to. Oh, yeah, and a headache from my headphones. Wearing them for four hours straight hurts.
I read a book tonight while I was talking with friends over the internet. It's an easy, short read, only about one hundred sixty pages. It's called 'House Of Stairs' and I rather liked it. It was eerie, and interesting, and sort of cheesy, but... good.
Sleater - Kinney is the best riot girl punk band ever. People who prefer Babes In Toyland are silly. And, Hole is not a grunge band. They're punk pop. Ugh. Why are people so stupid?!
My father is a fanboy of The Cure. What. On. Earth. I was listening to 'Just Like Heaven' tonight, and he comes in and starts saying how great they are. He didn't even have any old albums to offer me.
I want my dress, I don't know what my mother did with it. I don't know when I'll ever wear it. I'd wear it today, but I've got a piano lesson so I have to look sort of normal.
My hair is in these orderly, well mannered curls right now... and no one can see me. Why?! Maybe I'll pull out my phone and take a mirror picture or something.
'Bring The Light' is the best new Smashing Pumpkins song. It's smashing. Really. I don't know why Billy had to go all Axl Rose on the world, but at least he can still write a decent, if painfully generic rock song.
Moist is a really good band, even if their name is sort of unusual. Their singer sounds like something from the eighties, technopoppy, y'know? Only there's heavy grunge guitar. But it's backed, on occasion, with subtle piano. Very interesting. The post grunge bands of the mid nineties were so cool. So very, very cool.
Pond's singer is so hard to understand. Same with Seaweed.
I want to marry Blind Melon's new singer. He's completely gorgeous, and he can (surprise, surprise) sing.
Sleep deprivation is a gift from God, not a curse intended to paralyze the mind and cause partial Tourette's syndrome. I think. Time to get to bed, I'll probably post later today.
Sorry for the nonsense. Most of it musicial and boring. Whoops. It's three thirty now, I'd better sleep. Night.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The ocean hates me.
I can't think of any other reasons why it would attempt to kill me. I know this isn't a normal, or a polite way to start a post, but I don't think detailing the car ride to NC is preferable over this. So, I'll tell the world about my little near brush with death on the beach, last Tuesday!
I was out in the ocean with my mother, and, simply put, we got way too far. So far, in fact, that I couldn't reach and neither could she, once she stepped off the sandbar she was on. We failed to notice this until it was almost too late. There was apparently a really strong riptide or something that day, so the waves pushed us sideways, instead of in towards the shore. When my mother started screaming 'help' at the top of her lungs, I figured there was probably an issue of some sort. I didn't figure out exactly what it was until a gigantic wave crashed over my head, knocking me under the water and rendering me powerless for a few seconds 'til it had passed. I started panicking too, but was too out of breath to scream very loud. It happened again, and again, and after the fourth or so wave, I was completely certain I was going to die. I sound dramatic, but you'd probably say the same if you were in such a situation. I was being pulled out, not in, and that only meant the waves would be worse. I could see my mother losing strength and staying under longer and longer near me, but I was not close enough to do anything. It was actually fairly miraculous that some guys on the beach overheard our scattered screams, and came in after us, because I don't know what would have happened otherwise. According to the more conscious people who were around at the time, namely my father, I got myself most of the way out (no idea how, certainly didn't feel like it) but one of the guys assisted me the rest of the way out of the water, along with my father himself. My mother, on the other hand, was drug out of the ocean, having swallowed copious amounts of water and passed out.
I wasn't in too bad a state. I was more angry than anything else, because my throat burned and they wouldn't let me see my mother or even stand up, and there were strangers standing around watching us like we were on some television drama, but they clamped an oxygen mask over my face - in all likelyhood, to shut me up because I wouldn't stop yelling at them, I tend to do that when panicked - and took my pulse and such anyway. They were complaining it was fast, which they proceded to do all night before they let me go home, but it seems obvious my pulse would be fast. I was scared out of my mind, and had just been acting totally on instinct, fight or flight syndrome and all that, which I'm pretty sure generally raises one's pulse. And I felt all panicky the rest of the night. They took us to the hospital in an ambulance, which I guess would have been sort of cool if I weren't almost sure that my mother was dying on a stretcher beside me. She had, as we later discovered, swallowed so much water that it was building in her lungs and might later cause secondary drowning. I'll interrupt the chronological listing of events at this point to let you know that she's still alive, and almost totally back to normal again.
The story gets far more boring from that point on, because after finding that I was totally fine with the exception of a mild fever and a fast heartrate, they made me stay for 'observation' until about eleven that night, and I spent that time sitting there with an IV injected in my arm, watching television and playing hangman with my grandfather. My mother wasn't so lucky. She had to be carried in a helicoptor to Norfolk, VA, where they had more advanced lung doctor sorts of people. She wasn't exactly euphoric about this, and it really hurt me to see her start crying. It scared me, too. I won't go in to detail anymore regarding this incident, 'cept for I'll tell you that I am not going to go back into the ocean for a very, very long time, and when I do? I shall be insanely careful. I hate pain, and even though all I've got left from this incident is a long black bruise from some tie they wrapped 'round my arm at the hospital and a couple of scrapes and a little scar from where they put the IV into my elbow, that's just about all of the pain I can handle for the month. Or year. Or lifetime, really. Getting tossed around by the ocean is really not terribly painless, while it's happening either.
Enough of the whining. Vacation was pretty good, besides that. I bought some clothes, 'cause when my mother and I go anywhere for a prolonged amount of time, clothes get bought, much to my father's dismay. I got this metallic silver blazer - with shoulderpads! - that looked like it was from the eighties, and probably was from the eighties, since it was being sold for three dollars in a thrift store. I also had my mother buy me this little black dress type thing which I'll probably never wear the way it's meant to be worn, as I never go to anything formal. I intend to put a belt atop the waist line and wear it with jeans. And then I got a pair of large red sunglasses, which are pretty much exactly like the white ones I own, only... red. I don't know how else to describe them, other than that they're the same style Kurt Cobain wore, in fact, my white pair is supposed to be exactly like his, according to the seller. I don't know if it's unusual to try to dress like a dead man, but that's quite alright. Aside from the whole clothes thing, I went and saw wild horses on the beach with my grandparents and I also spent a great deal of time just hanging out and reading with the family. The thing I love most about my father's side of the family is that they're all introverted, bookish people who are content to spend several hours a day reading novels or watching science fiction movies. Which I prefer over my mother's side of the family, to be quite honest. They pass the time by gossiping and lifting weights.
The car ride home today was uneventful and even kind of enjoyable. I've read over twenty books in the past week, the owners of the rented house where we were staying had a shelf of books which I could only assume were open for use, so I was able to get my hands on some stuff that my mother definitely wouldn't have approved of... that sounds a lot worse than it is, but it actually just means Stephen King novels and other things like that. Horror, not sex. My mother is actually kind of oblivious to sex in books. She is even convinced that I put down a book if there's any swearing in it. Little does she know, I'd have literally nothing left to read if I actually did this. The best books I read this week had to be those that I got from the library myself though. I re-read The Diary Of A Young Girl, which I sort of skimmed the last time I read it, over a year ago, and didn't quite process. This time, I went slower and absorbed more of the book. Her writing is surprisingly good for a girl who's only thirteen or fourteen for most of the duration of the novel. It's almost unbelievable that it's not the creation of some adult, a fictionous Holocaust story. Maybe the fact that it's completely candid and real is what makes it so compelling. I'm currently reading Gone With The Wind, which is probably the longest book I've ever taken on, besides David Copperfield, and it's really good so far. I'm normally too lazy to put much time into finishing a book, but the characters and the whole premise of the story fascinate me. The society around the time of the Civil War, in the South, was horribly sexist, but everybody took it for granted. Well, most of the people in the story, anyway.
I think that's all I really have to say, for now. I've got to catch up on piano practice because I've got a lesson on Tuesday, and I'm so darn unprepared. Psycho isn't too bad, because it's really repetitive, mostly just varities on the same chord pattern, but Sonatina Movement II is killing me. I cannot get it nailed into my head, and I hate disappointing my teacher. I haven't done it once yet, I can't bear to let it happen now. No clue why I'm such a people pleaser, some of the time.
Oh! Grades. My report card came in the mail today (along with my Donnas tee shirt, but I figure the world is tired of hearing about my impulsive spending) It wasn't awful, wasn't extraordinary. I don't have exact percentages, but I do have letters.
English - A
French - B
Science - B+
Algebra - B
Civics - A
Gym - A
Creative Writing - A
Teen Living - A
My B+ in science was painfully close to an A. That irks me...
Music lately has been a lot of Love Battery, some Dinosaur Jr, and a scattering of other things I can hardly remember. Dead Moon, Lily Allen, Letters to Cleo. Oh, and then quite a bit of Blind Melon. I love Shannon Hoon more and more every time I listen to them. Something about his voice is so tragic, yet understatedly pretty. 'Letters From A Porcupine' is still my favorite, but 'The Pusher' is gaining on it. Their new singer - who, yes, isn't really new anymore, and has since quit the band, but he's newer than Shannon - is pretty good too. I wish he hadn't quit, though I tend towards thinking replacing an iconic singer with someone else after death is sort of disrespectful. I've been listening to Katy Perry pretty often too, for some reason. Oh, and I've been listening to Led Zeppelin pretty often too, though I couldn't tell you the song titles if I were held at gunpoint, because the fifteen song CD of their's I have on my iPod was labeled with nonsense words, or completely incorrect titles, and I can't be bothered to go looking through their stuff online. I missed my Bikini Kill and L7 quite a bit, but I haven't gotten around to listening to them yet. It's a pity their songs tend towards being so explicit, I can only download the most pure of tracks as long as I live under my parents' roof.
That's all, for now. Expect a whiny post later about writing camp and how much I don't want to go. Oh, I don't think I ever mentioned that I got in. Yeah. I did. The letter came a while ago.
I was out in the ocean with my mother, and, simply put, we got way too far. So far, in fact, that I couldn't reach and neither could she, once she stepped off the sandbar she was on. We failed to notice this until it was almost too late. There was apparently a really strong riptide or something that day, so the waves pushed us sideways, instead of in towards the shore. When my mother started screaming 'help' at the top of her lungs, I figured there was probably an issue of some sort. I didn't figure out exactly what it was until a gigantic wave crashed over my head, knocking me under the water and rendering me powerless for a few seconds 'til it had passed. I started panicking too, but was too out of breath to scream very loud. It happened again, and again, and after the fourth or so wave, I was completely certain I was going to die. I sound dramatic, but you'd probably say the same if you were in such a situation. I was being pulled out, not in, and that only meant the waves would be worse. I could see my mother losing strength and staying under longer and longer near me, but I was not close enough to do anything. It was actually fairly miraculous that some guys on the beach overheard our scattered screams, and came in after us, because I don't know what would have happened otherwise. According to the more conscious people who were around at the time, namely my father, I got myself most of the way out (no idea how, certainly didn't feel like it) but one of the guys assisted me the rest of the way out of the water, along with my father himself. My mother, on the other hand, was drug out of the ocean, having swallowed copious amounts of water and passed out.
I wasn't in too bad a state. I was more angry than anything else, because my throat burned and they wouldn't let me see my mother or even stand up, and there were strangers standing around watching us like we were on some television drama, but they clamped an oxygen mask over my face - in all likelyhood, to shut me up because I wouldn't stop yelling at them, I tend to do that when panicked - and took my pulse and such anyway. They were complaining it was fast, which they proceded to do all night before they let me go home, but it seems obvious my pulse would be fast. I was scared out of my mind, and had just been acting totally on instinct, fight or flight syndrome and all that, which I'm pretty sure generally raises one's pulse. And I felt all panicky the rest of the night. They took us to the hospital in an ambulance, which I guess would have been sort of cool if I weren't almost sure that my mother was dying on a stretcher beside me. She had, as we later discovered, swallowed so much water that it was building in her lungs and might later cause secondary drowning. I'll interrupt the chronological listing of events at this point to let you know that she's still alive, and almost totally back to normal again.
The story gets far more boring from that point on, because after finding that I was totally fine with the exception of a mild fever and a fast heartrate, they made me stay for 'observation' until about eleven that night, and I spent that time sitting there with an IV injected in my arm, watching television and playing hangman with my grandfather. My mother wasn't so lucky. She had to be carried in a helicoptor to Norfolk, VA, where they had more advanced lung doctor sorts of people. She wasn't exactly euphoric about this, and it really hurt me to see her start crying. It scared me, too. I won't go in to detail anymore regarding this incident, 'cept for I'll tell you that I am not going to go back into the ocean for a very, very long time, and when I do? I shall be insanely careful. I hate pain, and even though all I've got left from this incident is a long black bruise from some tie they wrapped 'round my arm at the hospital and a couple of scrapes and a little scar from where they put the IV into my elbow, that's just about all of the pain I can handle for the month. Or year. Or lifetime, really. Getting tossed around by the ocean is really not terribly painless, while it's happening either.
Enough of the whining. Vacation was pretty good, besides that. I bought some clothes, 'cause when my mother and I go anywhere for a prolonged amount of time, clothes get bought, much to my father's dismay. I got this metallic silver blazer - with shoulderpads! - that looked like it was from the eighties, and probably was from the eighties, since it was being sold for three dollars in a thrift store. I also had my mother buy me this little black dress type thing which I'll probably never wear the way it's meant to be worn, as I never go to anything formal. I intend to put a belt atop the waist line and wear it with jeans. And then I got a pair of large red sunglasses, which are pretty much exactly like the white ones I own, only... red. I don't know how else to describe them, other than that they're the same style Kurt Cobain wore, in fact, my white pair is supposed to be exactly like his, according to the seller. I don't know if it's unusual to try to dress like a dead man, but that's quite alright. Aside from the whole clothes thing, I went and saw wild horses on the beach with my grandparents and I also spent a great deal of time just hanging out and reading with the family. The thing I love most about my father's side of the family is that they're all introverted, bookish people who are content to spend several hours a day reading novels or watching science fiction movies. Which I prefer over my mother's side of the family, to be quite honest. They pass the time by gossiping and lifting weights.
The car ride home today was uneventful and even kind of enjoyable. I've read over twenty books in the past week, the owners of the rented house where we were staying had a shelf of books which I could only assume were open for use, so I was able to get my hands on some stuff that my mother definitely wouldn't have approved of... that sounds a lot worse than it is, but it actually just means Stephen King novels and other things like that. Horror, not sex. My mother is actually kind of oblivious to sex in books. She is even convinced that I put down a book if there's any swearing in it. Little does she know, I'd have literally nothing left to read if I actually did this. The best books I read this week had to be those that I got from the library myself though. I re-read The Diary Of A Young Girl, which I sort of skimmed the last time I read it, over a year ago, and didn't quite process. This time, I went slower and absorbed more of the book. Her writing is surprisingly good for a girl who's only thirteen or fourteen for most of the duration of the novel. It's almost unbelievable that it's not the creation of some adult, a fictionous Holocaust story. Maybe the fact that it's completely candid and real is what makes it so compelling. I'm currently reading Gone With The Wind, which is probably the longest book I've ever taken on, besides David Copperfield, and it's really good so far. I'm normally too lazy to put much time into finishing a book, but the characters and the whole premise of the story fascinate me. The society around the time of the Civil War, in the South, was horribly sexist, but everybody took it for granted. Well, most of the people in the story, anyway.
I think that's all I really have to say, for now. I've got to catch up on piano practice because I've got a lesson on Tuesday, and I'm so darn unprepared. Psycho isn't too bad, because it's really repetitive, mostly just varities on the same chord pattern, but Sonatina Movement II is killing me. I cannot get it nailed into my head, and I hate disappointing my teacher. I haven't done it once yet, I can't bear to let it happen now. No clue why I'm such a people pleaser, some of the time.
Oh! Grades. My report card came in the mail today (along with my Donnas tee shirt, but I figure the world is tired of hearing about my impulsive spending) It wasn't awful, wasn't extraordinary. I don't have exact percentages, but I do have letters.
English - A
French - B
Science - B+
Algebra - B
Civics - A
Gym - A
Creative Writing - A
Teen Living - A
My B+ in science was painfully close to an A. That irks me...
Music lately has been a lot of Love Battery, some Dinosaur Jr, and a scattering of other things I can hardly remember. Dead Moon, Lily Allen, Letters to Cleo. Oh, and then quite a bit of Blind Melon. I love Shannon Hoon more and more every time I listen to them. Something about his voice is so tragic, yet understatedly pretty. 'Letters From A Porcupine' is still my favorite, but 'The Pusher' is gaining on it. Their new singer - who, yes, isn't really new anymore, and has since quit the band, but he's newer than Shannon - is pretty good too. I wish he hadn't quit, though I tend towards thinking replacing an iconic singer with someone else after death is sort of disrespectful. I've been listening to Katy Perry pretty often too, for some reason. Oh, and I've been listening to Led Zeppelin pretty often too, though I couldn't tell you the song titles if I were held at gunpoint, because the fifteen song CD of their's I have on my iPod was labeled with nonsense words, or completely incorrect titles, and I can't be bothered to go looking through their stuff online. I missed my Bikini Kill and L7 quite a bit, but I haven't gotten around to listening to them yet. It's a pity their songs tend towards being so explicit, I can only download the most pure of tracks as long as I live under my parents' roof.
That's all, for now. Expect a whiny post later about writing camp and how much I don't want to go. Oh, I don't think I ever mentioned that I got in. Yeah. I did. The letter came a while ago.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
School is out.
Yesterday was my last day of middle school... ever. Pretty cool, huh? Maybe not. I don't know what I am right now. I don't think I'm an official highschooler yet. I certainly don't feel like one. I don't know if I'm even allowed to be counted as a middle schooler, though. Perhaps I am just stuck in between for a while. We did almost nothing during the school day, as we had only twenty one minutes in each class. Some of the teachers made little speeches about how much they enjoyed the 'challenge' of teaching us this year, which basically means that we were a horrible class, but they somehow endured it, so they must drum up something nice to say. It was almost impossible to convince myself that waking up had been worth it, that morning, but I'm glad I did. I might have had a rather skeptical perspective when starting school last fall, and I was pretty confident I wouldn't make a single friend, but I was surprised yesterday how sad I was to leave behind some of the people I go to school with. Most of my friends are going to a different highschool than me, next year, so unless I make plans out of school with them, I'm never going to see them again. Going - even for three hours - on the last day to say goodbye to them was worth it. I'll always have my online friends, who I love dearly and would trade my school friends for in a second, but I've actually gotten rather attached to some of the people at school.
I'm rather proud of myself for the school thing, actually. I did better with the skewed grading system than I expected, especially after coming from a year of homeschooling where grades were pretty much an optional thing. And I made friends, which my parents kept insisting would happen, despite my vehement denials of it. I also kept up with my very best friends, which I worried wouldn't work out due to the chaos and business that comes with school. I'm glad to be done, don't get me wrong, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. There were some things I wanted to do, but never did... I can ignore that, though. Next year should be a little easier. My mother said I'm less 'angry' now than I was before. I don't know if that's true, in fact, I'm pretty sure it's not, but I suppose it's an improvement if anything. I've also made it more than six months now without my little 'habit' kicking in, which is longer than I've ever made it, since sixth grade. Apparently, once it starts, you're hooked for life, but there can be dormant periods, and those can last for years. Which, hopefully, this one will.
I spent yesterday afternoon on the internet, attempting to practice my new piano assignments (Sonatina Movement II and more of Psycho) and completely failing, and baking cupcakes. I had a grand time with the latter of these activities, I even decorated them with frosting and chocolate chips and coconut shavings and such. My mother was quite pleased that I had the motivation to bake something that took more than ten minutes to make. My family keeps me around only for my copious amounts of baked good production at times, I fear. I also went outside and hung out with my little brother, who turned out to be contracting some serious illness. He threw up five times today. That's why it probably wasn't a smart idea to hold him when he started crying because I yelled at him for locking my dog inside the spare room where we occasionally keep her when it's raining. The whole episode was kind of stupid, I just hope I don't catch whatever he has.
Today was a laidback day. This Sunday, we're leaving for The Outer Banks in NC, so needless to say, I won't be blogging for a while. Most of the day was spent preparing for this trip, and, of course, dealing with my brother's sickness. We were meant to go to the library, which is one of my favorite places ever to go, but we couldn't because my mother has a cough so bad she can't speak anymore, and nobody else felt like taking me. I hung around on the internet - I know, I have no life and that's all I ever do, I wouldn't have it any other way - most of the morning after showering and dressing, of course, and I tried playing piano and failed again this afternoon. I cannot handle the assignment she gave me: I am in so much trouble when piano rolls around the Tuesday after next.
Tonight my father let me tag along when he drove my brother to a birthday party, and then he took me to eat dinner! Spending time out of the house - alone - with my parents, especially my father, is sort of rare, since I have so many siblings. Well, only three. But it adds up. My sister's pretty darn good at commandeering most of my parents' attention, and even though my brothers are normally low matainence, they both have actual lives, which require some effort on my parents' part. I am definitely not a child who does whatever they're told and never puts up a fight about anything, but I don't tend to leave my room all that often. After we ate, he took me to this record exchange in Fairfax which made him all tense because apparently the area was kind of 'seedy' or something. But it was the best place ever. I was euphoric from just about the time we walked in. They had Skin Yard CD's! And records from thirty years ago! And, best of all, they had Love Battery's Far Gone!! Which is only one of the best and hardest to find grunge records ever. It was only three dollars, and my dad had already said he'd buy a CD for me, so I sprinted over to him and had a little 'squee' moment while he delivered the news that he'd buy something else for me since it was so cheap. I spent all of my cash on shirts, over the internet, and library fines, so I had no money, and would have just about killed myself to get that CD. I also bought Bush's Sixteen Stone, which my father let me get because Far Gone was so cheap. I wanted one of the Babes In Toyland albums they had there, and there were some of the rarer Smashing Pumpkins discs I sort of wanted too, but I don't regret my choice. I'm listening to Sixteen Stone right now, and it's much better than I thought. Alien and Comedown are the best, I think. Razorblade Suitcase is still much better, but this CD isn't a disappointment in the least.
So, now I'm eating a cupcake and listening to the first song off of Far Gone, since I just popped it in, which would be 'Searching For Rose'. Life is good.
Music today was... mostly Love Battery. I'm having a little bit of a band phase, I fear. I also listened to some Bella Morte and Seaweed, though. And The Donnas, and AFI, and Frente, and Lily Allen, and even Katy Perry. So maybe it's not as bad as I thought. I also love L7, who are somewhere in between riot girl and punk pop, and have one of the most agressive sounds I've heard in a long time. But it's somewhat melodic too, so it doesn't bother me the way bands like Rage Against The Machine generally do. I don't think I have anything else to say about music today, 'cept for, that I am in love with Far Gone, and anyone who has ever considered listening to anything put out in 1993 should buy it immediately.
That's all.
I'm rather proud of myself for the school thing, actually. I did better with the skewed grading system than I expected, especially after coming from a year of homeschooling where grades were pretty much an optional thing. And I made friends, which my parents kept insisting would happen, despite my vehement denials of it. I also kept up with my very best friends, which I worried wouldn't work out due to the chaos and business that comes with school. I'm glad to be done, don't get me wrong, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. There were some things I wanted to do, but never did... I can ignore that, though. Next year should be a little easier. My mother said I'm less 'angry' now than I was before. I don't know if that's true, in fact, I'm pretty sure it's not, but I suppose it's an improvement if anything. I've also made it more than six months now without my little 'habit' kicking in, which is longer than I've ever made it, since sixth grade. Apparently, once it starts, you're hooked for life, but there can be dormant periods, and those can last for years. Which, hopefully, this one will.
I spent yesterday afternoon on the internet, attempting to practice my new piano assignments (Sonatina Movement II and more of Psycho) and completely failing, and baking cupcakes. I had a grand time with the latter of these activities, I even decorated them with frosting and chocolate chips and coconut shavings and such. My mother was quite pleased that I had the motivation to bake something that took more than ten minutes to make. My family keeps me around only for my copious amounts of baked good production at times, I fear. I also went outside and hung out with my little brother, who turned out to be contracting some serious illness. He threw up five times today. That's why it probably wasn't a smart idea to hold him when he started crying because I yelled at him for locking my dog inside the spare room where we occasionally keep her when it's raining. The whole episode was kind of stupid, I just hope I don't catch whatever he has.
Today was a laidback day. This Sunday, we're leaving for The Outer Banks in NC, so needless to say, I won't be blogging for a while. Most of the day was spent preparing for this trip, and, of course, dealing with my brother's sickness. We were meant to go to the library, which is one of my favorite places ever to go, but we couldn't because my mother has a cough so bad she can't speak anymore, and nobody else felt like taking me. I hung around on the internet - I know, I have no life and that's all I ever do, I wouldn't have it any other way - most of the morning after showering and dressing, of course, and I tried playing piano and failed again this afternoon. I cannot handle the assignment she gave me: I am in so much trouble when piano rolls around the Tuesday after next.
Tonight my father let me tag along when he drove my brother to a birthday party, and then he took me to eat dinner! Spending time out of the house - alone - with my parents, especially my father, is sort of rare, since I have so many siblings. Well, only three. But it adds up. My sister's pretty darn good at commandeering most of my parents' attention, and even though my brothers are normally low matainence, they both have actual lives, which require some effort on my parents' part. I am definitely not a child who does whatever they're told and never puts up a fight about anything, but I don't tend to leave my room all that often. After we ate, he took me to this record exchange in Fairfax which made him all tense because apparently the area was kind of 'seedy' or something. But it was the best place ever. I was euphoric from just about the time we walked in. They had Skin Yard CD's! And records from thirty years ago! And, best of all, they had Love Battery's Far Gone!! Which is only one of the best and hardest to find grunge records ever. It was only three dollars, and my dad had already said he'd buy a CD for me, so I sprinted over to him and had a little 'squee' moment while he delivered the news that he'd buy something else for me since it was so cheap. I spent all of my cash on shirts, over the internet, and library fines, so I had no money, and would have just about killed myself to get that CD. I also bought Bush's Sixteen Stone, which my father let me get because Far Gone was so cheap. I wanted one of the Babes In Toyland albums they had there, and there were some of the rarer Smashing Pumpkins discs I sort of wanted too, but I don't regret my choice. I'm listening to Sixteen Stone right now, and it's much better than I thought. Alien and Comedown are the best, I think. Razorblade Suitcase is still much better, but this CD isn't a disappointment in the least.
So, now I'm eating a cupcake and listening to the first song off of Far Gone, since I just popped it in, which would be 'Searching For Rose'. Life is good.
Music today was... mostly Love Battery. I'm having a little bit of a band phase, I fear. I also listened to some Bella Morte and Seaweed, though. And The Donnas, and AFI, and Frente, and Lily Allen, and even Katy Perry. So maybe it's not as bad as I thought. I also love L7, who are somewhere in between riot girl and punk pop, and have one of the most agressive sounds I've heard in a long time. But it's somewhat melodic too, so it doesn't bother me the way bands like Rage Against The Machine generally do. I don't think I have anything else to say about music today, 'cept for, that I am in love with Far Gone, and anyone who has ever considered listening to anything put out in 1993 should buy it immediately.
That's all.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
One of those ...survey things that one does when bored.
Which I am. I know, I only just posted that other thing. But I promised I'd post something else soon, didn't I? Well, here it is!
What do you wanna be when you grow up? Journalist or musician.
Is 30 old? Nah.
What's your major? None, so far.
Do you have a crush on anyone? Yup.
What's the prettiest part of your body? I love my feet.
What celebrity would you shag? Kurt Cobain.
Have you shagged any celebrities? Nope.
Have you met any celebrities? Sort of.
Do you think you'll ever get married? Probably.
What do you want your wedding song to be? 'Why Do You Love Me' by Garbage.
If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? I'd just stay here.
If you were stranded on a desert island,what 2 things would you take with you? My laptop and a cell phone.
What is your favorite club? No idea.
Movie you wished you had starred in? Something with Orlando Bloom.
Any other celebrities you would shag? Mark Arm.
Who is the coolest person you know? Hard to say.
Who do you know of that you wanna meet, but you've never met? My online friends.
Whats the best class you ever took? Civics.
What's the best job you've ever had? Unemployment has treated me very well.
Is there someone that you cant stop thinking about that doesnt know it? Yeah.
what song is in your head right now? 'Buy Her Candy' by Sleater Kinney.
What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Coffee.
Do you love your mom? Yep.
Do you love your dad? Yes.
Do you love your siblings? Usually.
Do you get along better with men or women? Probably women.
Plain or peanut? Plain.
smooth or crunchy? Smooth.
White or wheat? Wheat.
Coldplay or Nivana? Nirvana!
Purple or Chartruese? Purple.
Aliens or Ghosts? Aliens.
Do you believe in ghosts? Not really.
Favorite movie? No clue.
Favorite Christian Slater movie? Who?
favorite drink? Pepsi.
Favorite alchoholic drink? None.
Favorite city? Seattle.
Favorite store? Ebay.
vices? Too critical, can't spell to save my life.
addictions? Music, reading fanfiction, cake.
fetishes? None, as far as I know.
Favorite food? Cherries.
Favorite animal? Sheep or horses.
Best friend's name? Jill.
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Seven.
Have you ever thrown up on someone really hot? No.
Has anyone really hot ever thrown up on you? Nope.
Have you ever been to mexico? No.
Do you obssess over little things? Yes!
Do you have any tatoos? No.
Do you have any peircings? No.
What is your ethnic background? Italian, German, English.
Have you ever broken anyones heart? I highly doubt it.
Has anyone ever broken your heart? Not really.
Do you refer to anyone as "the one that got away"? Um. No.
Have you slept with anyone that is on myspace? No.
Did you think that that question was a little too personal? A little, yes.
Republican or democrat? Reactionary.
liberal or conservative? Conservative.
what are your favorite words? Flippant and morality.
who is the hottest woman/man in the world? Kurt Cobain.
Who would you kill if your morals would allow? My english teacher.
what's your favorite restaurant? Home.
are you glad this quiz is almost over? Not particularly.
What color are your underwear right now? Blue.
If you could join one band, what would it be? Blind Melon, maybe.
If you could resurrect one band, who would it be? Nirvana.
Favorite male vocalist? Kurt Cobain.
Favorite female vocalist? Shirley Manson or Kathleen Hanna.
favorite athelete? None.
favorite body part on a guy/girl? Hair.
What your ideal mate should look like? Attractive, I guess?
what your ideal mate should act like? They must amuse me, on some level.
what your ideal mate should be intersted in. Music.
how he/she should propose? On one knee.
What band does your ideal mate absolutley have to love? Nirvana.
what can your ideal mate not do? Die.
give 10 initials (max) of the boys/girls first names that you want. Ha. No.
Do you believe in soul mates? Yep.
Do you love yourself? Sometimes.
Do you love your friends? Of course!
Who do you love the most in the whole wide world? Not sure.
- - -
Here's another, since I really do have nothing better to do.
What is on your desktop wallpaper? Green River.
What is your favorite zoo animal? Giraffe.
What was your favorite toy as a child? Not sure.
What food do you eat too much of? Trail mix.
What kind of hairstyle do you have? Shortish, bangish.
What was your favorite activity in gym class? Running.
What is on the shirt you're wearing right now? It's plain.
What is the picture nearest to you of? Me and my family.
What kind of salad dressing do you like? Cesar.
Whats your least favorite food? Peas.
What do you do on a Sunday night? Babysit.
What color are your sheets? Turquoise.
How big is your computer display? A widescreen laptop.
What pair of shoes do you wear most often? My hightops.
What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? Cranberry sauce.
What is your favorite pizza topping? Cheese.
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow? Eight, sadly.
What is your favorite day of the year? Possibly my birthday, not sure.
What do you wanna be when you grow up? Journalist or musician.
Is 30 old? Nah.
What's your major? None, so far.
Do you have a crush on anyone? Yup.
What's the prettiest part of your body? I love my feet.
What celebrity would you shag? Kurt Cobain.
Have you shagged any celebrities? Nope.
Have you met any celebrities? Sort of.
Do you think you'll ever get married? Probably.
What do you want your wedding song to be? 'Why Do You Love Me' by Garbage.
If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? I'd just stay here.
If you were stranded on a desert island,what 2 things would you take with you? My laptop and a cell phone.
What is your favorite club? No idea.
Movie you wished you had starred in? Something with Orlando Bloom.
Any other celebrities you would shag? Mark Arm.
Who is the coolest person you know? Hard to say.
Who do you know of that you wanna meet, but you've never met? My online friends.
Whats the best class you ever took? Civics.
What's the best job you've ever had? Unemployment has treated me very well.
Is there someone that you cant stop thinking about that doesnt know it? Yeah.
what song is in your head right now? 'Buy Her Candy' by Sleater Kinney.
What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Coffee.
Do you love your mom? Yep.
Do you love your dad? Yes.
Do you love your siblings? Usually.
Do you get along better with men or women? Probably women.
Plain or peanut? Plain.
smooth or crunchy? Smooth.
White or wheat? Wheat.
Coldplay or Nivana? Nirvana!
Purple or Chartruese? Purple.
Aliens or Ghosts? Aliens.
Do you believe in ghosts? Not really.
Favorite movie? No clue.
Favorite Christian Slater movie? Who?
favorite drink? Pepsi.
Favorite alchoholic drink? None.
Favorite city? Seattle.
Favorite store? Ebay.
vices? Too critical, can't spell to save my life.
addictions? Music, reading fanfiction, cake.
fetishes? None, as far as I know.
Favorite food? Cherries.
Favorite animal? Sheep or horses.
Best friend's name? Jill.
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Seven.
Have you ever thrown up on someone really hot? No.
Has anyone really hot ever thrown up on you? Nope.
Have you ever been to mexico? No.
Do you obssess over little things? Yes!
Do you have any tatoos? No.
Do you have any peircings? No.
What is your ethnic background? Italian, German, English.
Have you ever broken anyones heart? I highly doubt it.
Has anyone ever broken your heart? Not really.
Do you refer to anyone as "the one that got away"? Um. No.
Have you slept with anyone that is on myspace? No.
Did you think that that question was a little too personal? A little, yes.
Republican or democrat? Reactionary.
liberal or conservative? Conservative.
what are your favorite words? Flippant and morality.
who is the hottest woman/man in the world? Kurt Cobain.
Who would you kill if your morals would allow? My english teacher.
what's your favorite restaurant? Home.
are you glad this quiz is almost over? Not particularly.
What color are your underwear right now? Blue.
If you could join one band, what would it be? Blind Melon, maybe.
If you could resurrect one band, who would it be? Nirvana.
Favorite male vocalist? Kurt Cobain.
Favorite female vocalist? Shirley Manson or Kathleen Hanna.
favorite athelete? None.
favorite body part on a guy/girl? Hair.
What your ideal mate should look like? Attractive, I guess?
what your ideal mate should act like? They must amuse me, on some level.
what your ideal mate should be intersted in. Music.
how he/she should propose? On one knee.
What band does your ideal mate absolutley have to love? Nirvana.
what can your ideal mate not do? Die.
give 10 initials (max) of the boys/girls first names that you want. Ha. No.
Do you believe in soul mates? Yep.
Do you love yourself? Sometimes.
Do you love your friends? Of course!
Who do you love the most in the whole wide world? Not sure.
- - -
Here's another, since I really do have nothing better to do.
What is on your desktop wallpaper? Green River.
What is your favorite zoo animal? Giraffe.
What was your favorite toy as a child? Not sure.
What food do you eat too much of? Trail mix.
What kind of hairstyle do you have? Shortish, bangish.
What was your favorite activity in gym class? Running.
What is on the shirt you're wearing right now? It's plain.
What is the picture nearest to you of? Me and my family.
What kind of salad dressing do you like? Cesar.
Whats your least favorite food? Peas.
What do you do on a Sunday night? Babysit.
What color are your sheets? Turquoise.
How big is your computer display? A widescreen laptop.
What pair of shoes do you wear most often? My hightops.
What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? Cranberry sauce.
What is your favorite pizza topping? Cheese.
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow? Eight, sadly.
What is your favorite day of the year? Possibly my birthday, not sure.
Last weekend of my eighth grade year.
Enormously thrilling, isn't it? I know nobody cares, but it's terribly liberating to know that next weekend, I won't have to bag a lunch or go to bed on time for school! I'll be free free free! I love summer.
As for my day, it was pretty boring. Saturdays are always low key for me, I like to use them to catch up on sleep and get all of the stress of the week out of my head. I woke about nine, and hung out on the internet waiting for my mother's friend to get out of my house. I don't normally go to all of the trouble of personally hating people, unless I've actually got something to hold against them, but something about this particular friend of her's really grinds my gears or however the saying goes. She's extremely outgoing, which means she contunally intrudes on my privacy, interrogating me about my life and filling me in on every single thing that happens in Cambodia. Yes, she lives there. You'd think it'd be interesting, but it's really not when you've spent the past eight years of your life hearing about it all of the time. I sound like a bad person, but that's honestly how I feel about the matter. When she left, I came downstairs and had some of the coffee she'd left. Apparently, drinking really strong coffee with a lot of creamer in it and not eating anything is not a smart idea, because I was jittery all day. I went upstairs and continued in my fruitless quest for a Love Battery shirt online, and then made myself some lunch around one and watched television for a while.
Later that afternoon, my parents had the grand idea to haul everyone out of the house and take them to see 'Up.' Which is a Pixar thing. It was okay, but it definitely wasn't worth my mother's random sob attacks throughout the film, and the torture of taking my sister in to the bathroom with me and hearing her narrate the whole experience for the benefit of everyone else in the bathroom. Having such a vivacious family makes me want to go all Charles Manson on them every once in a while, but they're better people than I portray them as. We came home, ate and then my brother opened presents. It's his birthday today, he's six now. Six is not a particularly good year for anyone, I don't think, but he'll live through it. I wish him luck, at any rate.
Now I find myself scouring the internet for shirts belonging to anyone I've been in to, as of late. Dead Moon has some cute shirts, but they're all skeletal, and my parents have this thing about that. They already rejected my Bikini Kill shirt because, as it would seem, having the word Kill on a shirt is quite offensive. There are no cheap Letters to Cleo or Veruca Salt shirts in the world, and Screaming Trees has no shirts left on the internet either. I already promised my mother I'd stop buying Nirvana shirts for a while, so that leaves me searching through everything I listen to, all for the sake of ridding myself of money. I think I have an impulsive spending addiction or something, because I cannot keep cash for more than a week.
On a sort of unrelated note, these online stores that tag Blind Melon as emo are insane. They're the furthest thing from that. I think. Why are all of their shirts black, though? I own too many black shirts. I want the Galaxie car one in white with a black logo, not reversed... Ha! I found a white one. And I also found a violet Dinosaur Jr shirt, adorned with an adorable cow. I haven't listened to them in forever, but that cow is enough to make me buy it regardless of band, plus it is only ten dollars and eighty two cents. Sold.
This is ridiculously short. I'll post something soon to make up for it...
I listened to everything from Garbage to Tad today. I also listened to Mudhoney and Love Battery, my ongoing addictions. I listened to a few string tributes, some piano covers, and that's about it. Oh, and rather a lot of Bikini Kill.
As for my day, it was pretty boring. Saturdays are always low key for me, I like to use them to catch up on sleep and get all of the stress of the week out of my head. I woke about nine, and hung out on the internet waiting for my mother's friend to get out of my house. I don't normally go to all of the trouble of personally hating people, unless I've actually got something to hold against them, but something about this particular friend of her's really grinds my gears or however the saying goes. She's extremely outgoing, which means she contunally intrudes on my privacy, interrogating me about my life and filling me in on every single thing that happens in Cambodia. Yes, she lives there. You'd think it'd be interesting, but it's really not when you've spent the past eight years of your life hearing about it all of the time. I sound like a bad person, but that's honestly how I feel about the matter. When she left, I came downstairs and had some of the coffee she'd left. Apparently, drinking really strong coffee with a lot of creamer in it and not eating anything is not a smart idea, because I was jittery all day. I went upstairs and continued in my fruitless quest for a Love Battery shirt online, and then made myself some lunch around one and watched television for a while.
Later that afternoon, my parents had the grand idea to haul everyone out of the house and take them to see 'Up.' Which is a Pixar thing. It was okay, but it definitely wasn't worth my mother's random sob attacks throughout the film, and the torture of taking my sister in to the bathroom with me and hearing her narrate the whole experience for the benefit of everyone else in the bathroom. Having such a vivacious family makes me want to go all Charles Manson on them every once in a while, but they're better people than I portray them as. We came home, ate and then my brother opened presents. It's his birthday today, he's six now. Six is not a particularly good year for anyone, I don't think, but he'll live through it. I wish him luck, at any rate.
Now I find myself scouring the internet for shirts belonging to anyone I've been in to, as of late. Dead Moon has some cute shirts, but they're all skeletal, and my parents have this thing about that. They already rejected my Bikini Kill shirt because, as it would seem, having the word Kill on a shirt is quite offensive. There are no cheap Letters to Cleo or Veruca Salt shirts in the world, and Screaming Trees has no shirts left on the internet either. I already promised my mother I'd stop buying Nirvana shirts for a while, so that leaves me searching through everything I listen to, all for the sake of ridding myself of money. I think I have an impulsive spending addiction or something, because I cannot keep cash for more than a week.
On a sort of unrelated note, these online stores that tag Blind Melon as emo are insane. They're the furthest thing from that. I think. Why are all of their shirts black, though? I own too many black shirts. I want the Galaxie car one in white with a black logo, not reversed... Ha! I found a white one. And I also found a violet Dinosaur Jr shirt, adorned with an adorable cow. I haven't listened to them in forever, but that cow is enough to make me buy it regardless of band, plus it is only ten dollars and eighty two cents. Sold.
This is ridiculously short. I'll post something soon to make up for it...
I listened to everything from Garbage to Tad today. I also listened to Mudhoney and Love Battery, my ongoing addictions. I listened to a few string tributes, some piano covers, and that's about it. Oh, and rather a lot of Bikini Kill.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Yawnage.
Not 'cause I'm bored. I wish. I'm wiped. Exhusted. Dying of tiredness. I need to go take a three month nap, which I suppose technically counts as summer. If this is how intense studying for two finals is, how impossible will it be next year?! Agh, enough griping. It'll be hard not to rant, I'm afraid, because my life over the past few days has been nothing but finals. Oh, and piano. My dear piano is causing me rather a lot of undue stress, as I take it far too seriously and have spent more than an hour the past two days playing. I figured out how to play the chorus to Love Battery's 'Half Past You' last night, and worked out some chords to make the melody sound more full. It's sort of fun, even if it's only playing the same thing over and over again, basically. I need to practice singing while I play piano, and I know all of the words to that song, so I've been doing that. I also picked up Bush's 'Glycerine' and The Birthday Massacre's 'Horror Show'. Yeah, I get distracted far too much, I know. I worked on Sonatina today, motiviated by the slightly pathetic sight of a five year old playing it perfectly on Youtube. My father insists that I can't hope to measure up to the child geniuses so I should stop worrying(thanks, dad. Love you too) but it makes me want to get better at any rate. I have made little to no progress on Psycho, and the idea of singing it next week is quite daunting to me.
School today was a bunch of boring, end of year nonsense. Besides - for once - english. We're watching 'The Devil's Arithmetic', which is only remotely related to anything in the curriculum, but is really good so far. It has the girl from Spiderman, who's name escapes me at this moment, in it. Some of the people in my class think it's too depressing, or insipid - my word, not their's, you'll note - or a wide range of other things, but I personally like it. In french, we got our final exam scores back. I only earned an 87 percent, which is lower than I hoped but nothing devastating, or worth tossing out my year grade for. I'm pretty satisfied with it. Science was more of my teacher being whiny, and moody, and looking quite pregnant, I do hope she takes next year off, and algebra was more of that dreaded final. It's the most intense test I've ever taken, and I'm really worried about my score on it. It matters a lot: if I get a B or higher (ha!) then I can easily go on to geometry. If it's a C+ or lower, then it's a different story. I wouldn't really mind retaking algebra, but I'd be frustrated with losing a year of progress and having to keep taking math through senior year.
Civics was not worth speaking of. I put my shorts on backwards in gym again and got a thirteen out of twenty on my softball test. The worst person possible just happened to be grading it, of course. I have horrid luck in gym, I really do. Teen living was sort of fun, though. We didn't have to sew today, we got to go and eat cookies that the seventh grade class baked outside for the entirity of the period. Which meant quite a lot of messing around and throwing things and getting yelled at for being, it would appear, 'umanageable'. My class hears that a lot, it's sort of sad. I normally do not mention this, but my bus rides were wonderful today. I got a little bit of much needed sleep, listened to 'Officially Dead' about a million times, and even remembered to get off at the right time without a panicked fumble for my things.
Oh! Yesterday, the awards ceremony took place after school. It was one of the more boring things I've had to sit through in my life. The egotistical part of me is irritated at the five seconds I was up on the stage versus the two hours I was sitting there watching, and the psychopathical part of me wants to murder each and every teacher in my school for dragging the thing out so long to begin with. Fortunately, neither part is particularly dominant, so I sat in the very back with my friend and tried to get some studying done. The award turned out to be given by my creative writing teacher from last semester, who somewhat loved me, and gave me a really high grade in there even though I weaseled my way out of sharing any writing every single time we were meant to. I suppose I made up for this by writing things that were ten pages long when they only had to be five, and so forth. I really do love writing, but I think the award should have been given to someone who worked hard and was willing to meet the requirements and all that. The ceremony lasted 'til about four, and then my father dropped off my friend at her house, and we headed home. By that time, it was five or so. Needless to say, I was not very pleased about having so much of my free time severed by such an occasion. It was nice to hang out and relax for a couple of hours, but I felt the pressure to do something more efficient nagging at me all of the time.
I studied so dang much today, it's not even physically possible. My mother's friend is here and she won't stop going on and on about her little adventures in Adoption Wonder Land. Tomorrow is my brother and sister's birthday party at one of those bouncy places; I have to come and supervise. My phone's battery is dead for no good reason, which really bothers me. My hair only curls the way I tell it to when it's ten thirty at night and nobody can see me.
There was all of the whiny little things I felt I had to tell the world, compacted in to one tiny paragraph. I guess we all know what this entry will be categorized as.
I listened to mostly grunge today. Green River, Mudhoney, and Love Battery. I cannot get over how wonderful Love Battery is. There's something about their songs that is not only addictive, it's almost emotionally indulgent, and it's very calming. Mudhoney is, of course, an ongoing addiction that is largely led by my adoration for Mark Arm and his hair. I don't mean to sound like one of those fangirls who only listens to music sung by cute guys, who only buy tickets for concerts so they can see the object of their affections, but I hardly listened to Mudhoney before I figured out how gorgeous Mark was. So, like I said before, he's mine and nobody can steal him. I also listened to Veruca Salt today, mostly, as stated before, 'Officially Dead' but I have a half addiction of sorts to 'Walking With Strangers' by the Birthday Massacre. It doesn't, as some commenter who wanted to continue my Tears For Fears stalking incident thought, resemble Tears For Fears' 'Head Over Heels' at all, they're crazy. Both songs are great, though.
That was sort of short. And whiny. Oh well, it's rare that I post twice during the school week.
School today was a bunch of boring, end of year nonsense. Besides - for once - english. We're watching 'The Devil's Arithmetic', which is only remotely related to anything in the curriculum, but is really good so far. It has the girl from Spiderman, who's name escapes me at this moment, in it. Some of the people in my class think it's too depressing, or insipid - my word, not their's, you'll note - or a wide range of other things, but I personally like it. In french, we got our final exam scores back. I only earned an 87 percent, which is lower than I hoped but nothing devastating, or worth tossing out my year grade for. I'm pretty satisfied with it. Science was more of my teacher being whiny, and moody, and looking quite pregnant, I do hope she takes next year off, and algebra was more of that dreaded final. It's the most intense test I've ever taken, and I'm really worried about my score on it. It matters a lot: if I get a B or higher (ha!) then I can easily go on to geometry. If it's a C+ or lower, then it's a different story. I wouldn't really mind retaking algebra, but I'd be frustrated with losing a year of progress and having to keep taking math through senior year.
Civics was not worth speaking of. I put my shorts on backwards in gym again and got a thirteen out of twenty on my softball test. The worst person possible just happened to be grading it, of course. I have horrid luck in gym, I really do. Teen living was sort of fun, though. We didn't have to sew today, we got to go and eat cookies that the seventh grade class baked outside for the entirity of the period. Which meant quite a lot of messing around and throwing things and getting yelled at for being, it would appear, 'umanageable'. My class hears that a lot, it's sort of sad. I normally do not mention this, but my bus rides were wonderful today. I got a little bit of much needed sleep, listened to 'Officially Dead' about a million times, and even remembered to get off at the right time without a panicked fumble for my things.
Oh! Yesterday, the awards ceremony took place after school. It was one of the more boring things I've had to sit through in my life. The egotistical part of me is irritated at the five seconds I was up on the stage versus the two hours I was sitting there watching, and the psychopathical part of me wants to murder each and every teacher in my school for dragging the thing out so long to begin with. Fortunately, neither part is particularly dominant, so I sat in the very back with my friend and tried to get some studying done. The award turned out to be given by my creative writing teacher from last semester, who somewhat loved me, and gave me a really high grade in there even though I weaseled my way out of sharing any writing every single time we were meant to. I suppose I made up for this by writing things that were ten pages long when they only had to be five, and so forth. I really do love writing, but I think the award should have been given to someone who worked hard and was willing to meet the requirements and all that. The ceremony lasted 'til about four, and then my father dropped off my friend at her house, and we headed home. By that time, it was five or so. Needless to say, I was not very pleased about having so much of my free time severed by such an occasion. It was nice to hang out and relax for a couple of hours, but I felt the pressure to do something more efficient nagging at me all of the time.
I studied so dang much today, it's not even physically possible. My mother's friend is here and she won't stop going on and on about her little adventures in Adoption Wonder Land. Tomorrow is my brother and sister's birthday party at one of those bouncy places; I have to come and supervise. My phone's battery is dead for no good reason, which really bothers me. My hair only curls the way I tell it to when it's ten thirty at night and nobody can see me.
There was all of the whiny little things I felt I had to tell the world, compacted in to one tiny paragraph. I guess we all know what this entry will be categorized as.
I listened to mostly grunge today. Green River, Mudhoney, and Love Battery. I cannot get over how wonderful Love Battery is. There's something about their songs that is not only addictive, it's almost emotionally indulgent, and it's very calming. Mudhoney is, of course, an ongoing addiction that is largely led by my adoration for Mark Arm and his hair. I don't mean to sound like one of those fangirls who only listens to music sung by cute guys, who only buy tickets for concerts so they can see the object of their affections, but I hardly listened to Mudhoney before I figured out how gorgeous Mark was. So, like I said before, he's mine and nobody can steal him. I also listened to Veruca Salt today, mostly, as stated before, 'Officially Dead' but I have a half addiction of sorts to 'Walking With Strangers' by the Birthday Massacre. It doesn't, as some commenter who wanted to continue my Tears For Fears stalking incident thought, resemble Tears For Fears' 'Head Over Heels' at all, they're crazy. Both songs are great, though.
That was sort of short. And whiny. Oh well, it's rare that I post twice during the school week.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
My life is going to fly out the window.
Not that I had one before. I mean, in all honesty, I have no life. But things are only going to get worse next year, if this is how much studying is required of me. I wanted to blog yesterday, but I had no time at all. None. Not a bit. I got home, went upstairs and finished my english essay. Josef Mengele no longer has any place in my life - he's giving me disturbing Nazi killer dreams now, dreams that I could really stand to live without - and I hope to never think of him again. In retrospect, it was a good project for me to take on, though. Even if it wasn't much fun. Then I went outside with my brother and studied french for a while. So far, the final is pretty easy. I'm relieved, because I was quite nervous. I didn't get done with the studying and essay writin' until about eight, and then I spent about half an hour practicing piano. That left me with approximately three hours to hang out and get myself together before another excrutiatingly exhusting day unfolded.
Which, would, of course, be today. I woke at four am to the not so soothing sounds of yet another thunder storm, and tossed and turned for about an hour until one of my alarms, one that is not generally operational came on. It was playing some funk song and I genuinely thought it was part of one of those odd little half awake dreams where you're sort of aware of what's around you, but not quite. So I laid there not shutting it off for eons, and then woke all of the way to my regular alarm and walked blindly around my room wondering if I could get out of school today. The answer was no, by the way. On the bus, I fell asleep and woke right when we pulled in to the school drive. Needless to say, I was having one of those days again.
But! It got reversed, sort of. I slept through another day of hearing about how, no matter how much proof I am able to offer and no matter how well I argue, I am always wrong and my teacher is right (of course, she says this in class and then goes and changes the answers on all of the papers to what I suggested was correct, later) in english, and then took part two of the final in french. I finish it tomorrow, it shouldn't be anything too impossible. In science, I heard from a friend that my algebra teacher was giving out the state testing - SOL, they call it here - scores. Which I had next period. I wasn't one hundred percent sure that I failed, but I was leaning that way, so my anxiety levels were peaking by the time I walked out of there. My friends were trying to reason with me, but that never works when I get myself into a thing. I hope they don't think I'm insane now. They know I'm frantic about algebra though, already, since I'm asking them for the homework answers every five minutes.
So, I walked into the classroom, and waited through forty minutes of adrenaline inducing torment while my teacher prattled on about how impossible the final was going to be, until he came around and showed us our scores. To end the suspense, of which there was very little, I passed advance. Which, as it sounds, is the ultra smarty pants level. I don't mind bragging a little because it's algebra, which I normally fail at. I was very proud of myself. Still am. So, that made my day. In civics, we took a quiz which I think I failed. That remains to be seen. I hope I didn't, but I neglected to study last night, lacking time, so I didn't have any clue where Sudan or Iraq was, and I filled in things at random, using a strategy that I generally reserve for science. Gym was boring. Everyone in that class is either mildly irritated with me, or I am mildly irritated with them, with the exception of about five people. Teen living was okay, I made some progress with my teddy bear. It keeps having holes in the side seams, which is sort of annoying, but it's nothing I can't work through, I suppose.
I had my piano lesson today, it didn't go so well. I was having major timing issues with Sonatina, and I kept hitting wrong notes because I got tense and quit thinking. But I had it worked out by the end of the lesson, and I'm supposed to finish perfecting it this week. To my shock, my piano teacher urged me to give up Karma Police, and try an easier song. I can see where she's coming from, I guess. My father, grandfather, and even her couldn't play it. All of whom are experienced pianists. But I really do adore the melody, and that's one of the songs that convinced me to play piano again. None the less, I relunctantly agreed. I'm going to learn Puddle of Mudd's 'Psycho' now. The part for the piano is really repetitive, even if it's sort of challenging, so my piano teacher decided that I'm going to sing it next week. Oh goodness. I found myself conceding to this, but now I regret it. I can't sing, can I?! Maybe I can. But, more possibly, I cannot. She wants me to be in the recital this August, but I declined. My politeness has to come to an end at some point, and I hate being in front of people. On a rather unrelated note, she apparently thought I was in tenth grade all of this time, which is both flattering and weird. I didn't realize I could pull off tenth grade, I can barely pull of eighth half of the time.
Tomorrow I have my awards ceremony after school 'cause I was a prestegious student or some such thing. No, I really can't spell prestegious, I didn't do it for irony. I'm not exactly thrilled, but my parents will be there, and I'll get to figure out what the award actually means, so even if my mother claps obscenely loud or I make some public mishap in front of everyone, at least I'll have a certificate informing the world that I'm a prestegious middle schooler.
I know, I know, this post is both lame and short. I have to go study some algebra. Music over the past few days has been a mixed bag. I recently discovered - or, re discovered, as I should say - riot girl punk. Which is pretty darn cool. Sleater Kinney and Bikini Kill are amazing. I've also been listening to the songs off of Nico, a Blind Melon album. I downloaded them from this blog a while ago and never bothered to listen. Oh, how I love Blind Melon. 'Letters From A Porcupine' and (excuse the language, but it's a song title) 'Life Ain't So Shitty' are my favorites. Fo some reason, I've also gotten a little song addiction to Cheap Trick's 'I Want You to Want Me'. Unusual, yes. I bought Adore over the weekend. The album art is love, with the exception of the rather large and vivid shots of D'arcy's... upper half. That was something I really didn't need to see. The music is excellent too, of course. I haven't listened to it nearly as much as I normally do when I buy a new album, because I've always sort of thought of Smashing Pumpkins in general, and especially Adore as winter music, and it's as summery as it gets here. I've been listening to a lot of Love Battery, some Screaming Trees and even some Atreyu. I've also, oddly enough, been loving the music on the new Newsboys album, which ended up on my iPod after my parents downloaded it.
I put up some new lyrics, belonging to 'Letters From A Porcupine' by Blind Melon.
That's all for now.
Which, would, of course, be today. I woke at four am to the not so soothing sounds of yet another thunder storm, and tossed and turned for about an hour until one of my alarms, one that is not generally operational came on. It was playing some funk song and I genuinely thought it was part of one of those odd little half awake dreams where you're sort of aware of what's around you, but not quite. So I laid there not shutting it off for eons, and then woke all of the way to my regular alarm and walked blindly around my room wondering if I could get out of school today. The answer was no, by the way. On the bus, I fell asleep and woke right when we pulled in to the school drive. Needless to say, I was having one of those days again.
But! It got reversed, sort of. I slept through another day of hearing about how, no matter how much proof I am able to offer and no matter how well I argue, I am always wrong and my teacher is right (of course, she says this in class and then goes and changes the answers on all of the papers to what I suggested was correct, later) in english, and then took part two of the final in french. I finish it tomorrow, it shouldn't be anything too impossible. In science, I heard from a friend that my algebra teacher was giving out the state testing - SOL, they call it here - scores. Which I had next period. I wasn't one hundred percent sure that I failed, but I was leaning that way, so my anxiety levels were peaking by the time I walked out of there. My friends were trying to reason with me, but that never works when I get myself into a thing. I hope they don't think I'm insane now. They know I'm frantic about algebra though, already, since I'm asking them for the homework answers every five minutes.
So, I walked into the classroom, and waited through forty minutes of adrenaline inducing torment while my teacher prattled on about how impossible the final was going to be, until he came around and showed us our scores. To end the suspense, of which there was very little, I passed advance. Which, as it sounds, is the ultra smarty pants level. I don't mind bragging a little because it's algebra, which I normally fail at. I was very proud of myself. Still am. So, that made my day. In civics, we took a quiz which I think I failed. That remains to be seen. I hope I didn't, but I neglected to study last night, lacking time, so I didn't have any clue where Sudan or Iraq was, and I filled in things at random, using a strategy that I generally reserve for science. Gym was boring. Everyone in that class is either mildly irritated with me, or I am mildly irritated with them, with the exception of about five people. Teen living was okay, I made some progress with my teddy bear. It keeps having holes in the side seams, which is sort of annoying, but it's nothing I can't work through, I suppose.
I had my piano lesson today, it didn't go so well. I was having major timing issues with Sonatina, and I kept hitting wrong notes because I got tense and quit thinking. But I had it worked out by the end of the lesson, and I'm supposed to finish perfecting it this week. To my shock, my piano teacher urged me to give up Karma Police, and try an easier song. I can see where she's coming from, I guess. My father, grandfather, and even her couldn't play it. All of whom are experienced pianists. But I really do adore the melody, and that's one of the songs that convinced me to play piano again. None the less, I relunctantly agreed. I'm going to learn Puddle of Mudd's 'Psycho' now. The part for the piano is really repetitive, even if it's sort of challenging, so my piano teacher decided that I'm going to sing it next week. Oh goodness. I found myself conceding to this, but now I regret it. I can't sing, can I?! Maybe I can. But, more possibly, I cannot. She wants me to be in the recital this August, but I declined. My politeness has to come to an end at some point, and I hate being in front of people. On a rather unrelated note, she apparently thought I was in tenth grade all of this time, which is both flattering and weird. I didn't realize I could pull off tenth grade, I can barely pull of eighth half of the time.
Tomorrow I have my awards ceremony after school 'cause I was a prestegious student or some such thing. No, I really can't spell prestegious, I didn't do it for irony. I'm not exactly thrilled, but my parents will be there, and I'll get to figure out what the award actually means, so even if my mother claps obscenely loud or I make some public mishap in front of everyone, at least I'll have a certificate informing the world that I'm a prestegious middle schooler.
I know, I know, this post is both lame and short. I have to go study some algebra. Music over the past few days has been a mixed bag. I recently discovered - or, re discovered, as I should say - riot girl punk. Which is pretty darn cool. Sleater Kinney and Bikini Kill are amazing. I've also been listening to the songs off of Nico, a Blind Melon album. I downloaded them from this blog a while ago and never bothered to listen. Oh, how I love Blind Melon. 'Letters From A Porcupine' and (excuse the language, but it's a song title) 'Life Ain't So Shitty' are my favorites. Fo some reason, I've also gotten a little song addiction to Cheap Trick's 'I Want You to Want Me'. Unusual, yes. I bought Adore over the weekend. The album art is love, with the exception of the rather large and vivid shots of D'arcy's... upper half. That was something I really didn't need to see. The music is excellent too, of course. I haven't listened to it nearly as much as I normally do when I buy a new album, because I've always sort of thought of Smashing Pumpkins in general, and especially Adore as winter music, and it's as summery as it gets here. I've been listening to a lot of Love Battery, some Screaming Trees and even some Atreyu. I've also, oddly enough, been loving the music on the new Newsboys album, which ended up on my iPod after my parents downloaded it.
I put up some new lyrics, belonging to 'Letters From A Porcupine' by Blind Melon.
That's all for now.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Out of the abyss.
For two days, anyway. This week was quite chaotic. I don't feel like summarizing every single day, so I'll opt out of that blogging style, and go for a much easier, less time consuming one. I'll merely state the significant events of the past week. Good, bad, confusing, all of them. I won't bother you with anything particularly boring. At least, I'll try not to. I suppose that's enough of an introduction to this, considering I normally don't even have an introduction. Should I be doing that? Other people do. I used to, when I used a different blog.
Good - I got one hundred on my service learning project in civics class and was praised profusely by my teacher. I'm pretty easy to flatter, if I feel that a compliment is honest, it can make my whole day better. Civics has been so boring, so forgettable as of late, I've been doubting its status as my favorite school subject. I suppose my faith was restored today. Oh, how I love getting (good) grades back.
Bad - My algebra state testing caused me a lot of stress this week. I literally broke down in tears over it on Monday or Tuesday, because I was so anxious. The test wasn't very difficult, but I finished very slowly, and I'm worried about my grade. What if I did everything wrong?! It makes me wonder.
Confusing - I finished my boxers in teen living, which ought to rank under good, because it sure took me long enough. I'm pretty happy with them, got them on over jeans right now. But I put it under confusing because I made a whole lot of mistakes on them. Crooked stitching, holes in my work, uneven cutting, and my teacher still gave me an eighty five percent. Seventeen out of twenty. Which is only a low B, but I'll take it. Why does she give me so much mercy?
Good - I found my new favorite song, to replace the little hole in my heart left behind by my short lived penchant for 'Not An Addict'. Love Battery's 'Between The Eyes' is my new best friend on the school bus. I downloaded it at random, never having heard it before. The comparison is weird, but I think it sounds kind of like White Stripes, during the chorus. The guitar part is so loud and distorted, you can hardly hear the vocals at some points. That used to bother me, but I'm listening to it now, and I don't mind. It's one of the most striking songs I've heard in a while. Funny how something as simple as a chord progression can make a huge difference.
Bad - My piano lesson was horrible last Tuesday. I was all out of it, making mistakes left and right. I made little to no progress on Karma Police, and was asked to repeat the part I'd played last week for this week. I forgot to practice today. I'll have to work extra, tomorrow. I'm trying to keep things moving with that song, I'm looking forward to the day I'll be able to play the whole thing through and have it sound, y'know, good. Sadly, that day will not be coming too soon in the future. Sonatina is going well enough, but I have to plug through that song with a level of determination I really have to work to muster up due to my constant exhustion, if I'm going to improve at it the way I should. I have to get everything working with both hands by next Tuesday and I'm unsure I'll make it.
Confusing - I went to therapy yesterday. It was, well, confusing. My therapist is sort of antagonistic towards my dad. I made some offhanded comment about him and now she's making a huge ordeal out of it. Yes, I feel uncomfortable talking freely around him. Yes, I tend to jump to conclusions and get defensive around him. But it's not worth dragging him into therapy with me for. I cannot even imagine him talking it over with her, can't begin to fathom it. My dad doesn't even want me in therapy anymore, since the hair thing is blown over. He'd really want me out if he knew our current topic of discussion. Despite this, I normally like going. I think, in all honesty, it sort of helps me.
Good - One more week of learning, assessments, expectations, anxiety, pressure, grading, and schooling in general, and then it's all over. Well, mostly. But what sane teacher is going to give any graded work on the last week of school? I don't want to get all nostalgic for something that hasn't happened yet, so I'll save the reflection and ponderings for the last day. I'm elated, I'll tell you that much. I cannot wait for my two months of freedom. The two months I shall supposedly grow up some before high school. Do I seem like a high schooler yet? Not at all, I think. Good thing I've got a little time.
Bad - I keep having a sharp, intense pain that feels almost like a sting in my upper stomach muscles. Ow. It's brutal. No idea why it's there, but it hurts badly.
Confusing - I'm not going to see any of my friends from school, with the exception of two of 'em and someone who is not quite a friend after the year is over. They'll all be attending different high schools. Being a recluse of sorts, I am not actually devastated about this. Half of them get on my nerves, anyways. But I don't know what to think, where to go from there. I don't know if I should try to keep in touch with them, or let it go. There are some that I don't want to talk to anymore, but others I sort of do. I feel uncomfortable being so forward about that, though.
That sums up what's goin' on with me, as of late.
As for music, I listened to quite a lot of Love Battery and Screaming Trees. Some Tad too. And a band called Seaweed who I'll have to learn more about, they seem interesting. I've been listening to an almost obsessive amount of Veruca Salt. 'Officially Dead' is awesome. As is 'Used To Know Her' and 'Only You Know'. Basically, all of Resolver. I was listening to some Jack Johnson, and a little bit of Dead Moon. And then there's Elastica, Garbage, and the Donnas. My girly punk - pop addiction will never recede, I fear. I was listening to a song by a band called Weird Little Boy who Wikipedia prompted me to discover, a few days ago. Noise rock is a genre I need to look into more.
Night!
Edit~ There are new lyrics up. Well, actually, they're the first lyrics up. I'll change them from time to time, whenever I get bored. Right now, they belong to Jack Johnson. 'People Watching' is a great song...
Edit Again~ Oh, I forgot to mention that the lyric thing is totally ripping off Camo's Blog. And a lot of others too, I suspect.
Good - I got one hundred on my service learning project in civics class and was praised profusely by my teacher. I'm pretty easy to flatter, if I feel that a compliment is honest, it can make my whole day better. Civics has been so boring, so forgettable as of late, I've been doubting its status as my favorite school subject. I suppose my faith was restored today. Oh, how I love getting (good) grades back.
Bad - My algebra state testing caused me a lot of stress this week. I literally broke down in tears over it on Monday or Tuesday, because I was so anxious. The test wasn't very difficult, but I finished very slowly, and I'm worried about my grade. What if I did everything wrong?! It makes me wonder.
Confusing - I finished my boxers in teen living, which ought to rank under good, because it sure took me long enough. I'm pretty happy with them, got them on over jeans right now. But I put it under confusing because I made a whole lot of mistakes on them. Crooked stitching, holes in my work, uneven cutting, and my teacher still gave me an eighty five percent. Seventeen out of twenty. Which is only a low B, but I'll take it. Why does she give me so much mercy?
Good - I found my new favorite song, to replace the little hole in my heart left behind by my short lived penchant for 'Not An Addict'. Love Battery's 'Between The Eyes' is my new best friend on the school bus. I downloaded it at random, never having heard it before. The comparison is weird, but I think it sounds kind of like White Stripes, during the chorus. The guitar part is so loud and distorted, you can hardly hear the vocals at some points. That used to bother me, but I'm listening to it now, and I don't mind. It's one of the most striking songs I've heard in a while. Funny how something as simple as a chord progression can make a huge difference.
Bad - My piano lesson was horrible last Tuesday. I was all out of it, making mistakes left and right. I made little to no progress on Karma Police, and was asked to repeat the part I'd played last week for this week. I forgot to practice today. I'll have to work extra, tomorrow. I'm trying to keep things moving with that song, I'm looking forward to the day I'll be able to play the whole thing through and have it sound, y'know, good. Sadly, that day will not be coming too soon in the future. Sonatina is going well enough, but I have to plug through that song with a level of determination I really have to work to muster up due to my constant exhustion, if I'm going to improve at it the way I should. I have to get everything working with both hands by next Tuesday and I'm unsure I'll make it.
Confusing - I went to therapy yesterday. It was, well, confusing. My therapist is sort of antagonistic towards my dad. I made some offhanded comment about him and now she's making a huge ordeal out of it. Yes, I feel uncomfortable talking freely around him. Yes, I tend to jump to conclusions and get defensive around him. But it's not worth dragging him into therapy with me for. I cannot even imagine him talking it over with her, can't begin to fathom it. My dad doesn't even want me in therapy anymore, since the hair thing is blown over. He'd really want me out if he knew our current topic of discussion. Despite this, I normally like going. I think, in all honesty, it sort of helps me.
Good - One more week of learning, assessments, expectations, anxiety, pressure, grading, and schooling in general, and then it's all over. Well, mostly. But what sane teacher is going to give any graded work on the last week of school? I don't want to get all nostalgic for something that hasn't happened yet, so I'll save the reflection and ponderings for the last day. I'm elated, I'll tell you that much. I cannot wait for my two months of freedom. The two months I shall supposedly grow up some before high school. Do I seem like a high schooler yet? Not at all, I think. Good thing I've got a little time.
Bad - I keep having a sharp, intense pain that feels almost like a sting in my upper stomach muscles. Ow. It's brutal. No idea why it's there, but it hurts badly.
Confusing - I'm not going to see any of my friends from school, with the exception of two of 'em and someone who is not quite a friend after the year is over. They'll all be attending different high schools. Being a recluse of sorts, I am not actually devastated about this. Half of them get on my nerves, anyways. But I don't know what to think, where to go from there. I don't know if I should try to keep in touch with them, or let it go. There are some that I don't want to talk to anymore, but others I sort of do. I feel uncomfortable being so forward about that, though.
That sums up what's goin' on with me, as of late.
As for music, I listened to quite a lot of Love Battery and Screaming Trees. Some Tad too. And a band called Seaweed who I'll have to learn more about, they seem interesting. I've been listening to an almost obsessive amount of Veruca Salt. 'Officially Dead' is awesome. As is 'Used To Know Her' and 'Only You Know'. Basically, all of Resolver. I was listening to some Jack Johnson, and a little bit of Dead Moon. And then there's Elastica, Garbage, and the Donnas. My girly punk - pop addiction will never recede, I fear. I was listening to a song by a band called Weird Little Boy who Wikipedia prompted me to discover, a few days ago. Noise rock is a genre I need to look into more.
Night!
Edit~ There are new lyrics up. Well, actually, they're the first lyrics up. I'll change them from time to time, whenever I get bored. Right now, they belong to Jack Johnson. 'People Watching' is a great song...
Edit Again~ Oh, I forgot to mention that the lyric thing is totally ripping off Camo's Blog. And a lot of others too, I suspect.
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