My life is going to fly out the window.

Not that I had one before. I mean, in all honesty, I have no life. But things are only going to get worse next year, if this is how much studying is required of me. I wanted to blog yesterday, but I had no time at all. None. Not a bit. I got home, went upstairs and finished my english essay. Josef Mengele no longer has any place in my life - he's giving me disturbing Nazi killer dreams now, dreams that I could really stand to live without - and I hope to never think of him again. In retrospect, it was a good project for me to take on, though. Even if it wasn't much fun. Then I went outside with my brother and studied french for a while. So far, the final is pretty easy. I'm relieved, because I was quite nervous. I didn't get done with the studying and essay writin' until about eight, and then I spent about half an hour practicing piano. That left me with approximately three hours to hang out and get myself together before another excrutiatingly exhusting day unfolded.

Which, would, of course, be today. I woke at four am to the not so soothing sounds of yet another thunder storm, and tossed and turned for about an hour until one of my alarms, one that is not generally operational came on. It was playing some funk song and I genuinely thought it was part of one of those odd little half awake dreams where you're sort of aware of what's around you, but not quite. So I laid there not shutting it off for eons, and then woke all of the way to my regular alarm and walked blindly around my room wondering if I could get out of school today. The answer was no, by the way. On the bus, I fell asleep and woke right when we pulled in to the school drive. Needless to say, I was having one of those days again.

But! It got reversed, sort of. I slept through another day of hearing about how, no matter how much proof I am able to offer and no matter how well I argue, I am always wrong and my teacher is right (of course, she says this in class and then goes and changes the answers on all of the papers to what I suggested was correct, later) in english, and then took part two of the final in french. I finish it tomorrow, it shouldn't be anything too impossible. In science, I heard from a friend that my algebra teacher was giving out the state testing - SOL, they call it here - scores. Which I had next period. I wasn't one hundred percent sure that I failed, but I was leaning that way, so my anxiety levels were peaking by the time I walked out of there. My friends were trying to reason with me, but that never works when I get myself into a thing. I hope they don't think I'm insane now. They know I'm frantic about algebra though, already, since I'm asking them for the homework answers every five minutes.

So, I walked into the classroom, and waited through forty minutes of adrenaline inducing torment while my teacher prattled on about how impossible the final was going to be, until he came around and showed us our scores. To end the suspense, of which there was very little, I passed advance. Which, as it sounds, is the ultra smarty pants level. I don't mind bragging a little because it's algebra, which I normally fail at. I was very proud of myself. Still am. So, that made my day. In civics, we took a quiz which I think I failed. That remains to be seen. I hope I didn't, but I neglected to study last night, lacking time, so I didn't have any clue where Sudan or Iraq was, and I filled in things at random, using a strategy that I generally reserve for science. Gym was boring. Everyone in that class is either mildly irritated with me, or I am mildly irritated with them, with the exception of about five people. Teen living was okay, I made some progress with my teddy bear. It keeps having holes in the side seams, which is sort of annoying, but it's nothing I can't work through, I suppose.

I had my piano lesson today, it didn't go so well. I was having major timing issues with Sonatina, and I kept hitting wrong notes because I got tense and quit thinking. But I had it worked out by the end of the lesson, and I'm supposed to finish perfecting it this week. To my shock, my piano teacher urged me to give up Karma Police, and try an easier song. I can see where she's coming from, I guess. My father, grandfather, and even her couldn't play it. All of whom are experienced pianists. But I really do adore the melody, and that's one of the songs that convinced me to play piano again. None the less, I relunctantly agreed. I'm going to learn Puddle of Mudd's 'Psycho' now. The part for the piano is really repetitive, even if it's sort of challenging, so my piano teacher decided that I'm going to sing it next week. Oh goodness. I found myself conceding to this, but now I regret it. I can't sing, can I?! Maybe I can. But, more possibly, I cannot. She wants me to be in the recital this August, but I declined. My politeness has to come to an end at some point, and I hate being in front of people. On a rather unrelated note, she apparently thought I was in tenth grade all of this time, which is both flattering and weird. I didn't realize I could pull off tenth grade, I can barely pull of eighth half of the time.

Tomorrow I have my awards ceremony after school 'cause I was a prestegious student or some such thing. No, I really can't spell prestegious, I didn't do it for irony. I'm not exactly thrilled, but my parents will be there, and I'll get to figure out what the award actually means, so even if my mother claps obscenely loud or I make some public mishap in front of everyone, at least I'll have a certificate informing the world that I'm a prestegious middle schooler.

I know, I know, this post is both lame and short. I have to go study some algebra. Music over the past few days has been a mixed bag. I recently discovered - or, re discovered, as I should say - riot girl punk. Which is pretty darn cool. Sleater Kinney and Bikini Kill are amazing. I've also been listening to the songs off of Nico, a Blind Melon album. I downloaded them from this blog a while ago and never bothered to listen. Oh, how I love Blind Melon. 'Letters From A Porcupine' and (excuse the language, but it's a song title) 'Life Ain't So Shitty' are my favorites. Fo some reason, I've also gotten a little song addiction to Cheap Trick's 'I Want You to Want Me'. Unusual, yes. I bought Adore over the weekend. The album art is love, with the exception of the rather large and vivid shots of D'arcy's... upper half. That was something I really didn't need to see. The music is excellent too, of course. I haven't listened to it nearly as much as I normally do when I buy a new album, because I've always sort of thought of Smashing Pumpkins in general, and especially Adore as winter music, and it's as summery as it gets here. I've been listening to a lot of Love Battery, some Screaming Trees and even some Atreyu. I've also, oddly enough, been loving the music on the new Newsboys album, which ended up on my iPod after my parents downloaded it.

I put up some new lyrics, belonging to 'Letters From A Porcupine' by Blind Melon.

That's all for now.